Not everyone who is nice to me is my friend

You must have noticed this in the past that your friend is ever so kind to you in private, always speaking good about you and telling you that both of you are very close and how much he cares for you. But in public he changes. He goes on teasing and insulting you which starts a heart burnin in you and you twitch your eyebrow asking yourself,"Did he really tell me the truth a while ago?"
We all have done this before in the understanding of jest. We always tease our friends, close or not, in public and speak about private matters and speak well about them privately.
I've seen this a lot. a lot of my friends tell me their stories and problems and how they can't solve it  privately but in public, or with others, if I mention it, they seem like the have never heard of that problem. Are they lying to me or just trying to hide their problems. Many people tell me something in private and change the whole case publicly to avoid anything that can go against them. It is very weird and I felt like my friends lied to me. But when I sat to ask myself what the root cause to this is, I found out and that is why I write this blog.
You might think that your friend puts on a mask for the world and removes it when talking to you. We all feel this. There is no particular word or phrase for this, lets call it 'Face Change'
According to me, this is because of several reasons.
I don't feel they wouldn't be your real friends. Your real friends wouldn't be two faced or would not change their views on something in public.
Things like this have happened to me and others a lot. There is no escaping it. So what to do?
I think that the best way to tackle this is to think with a clear head and put aside and sieve out all the rational thoughts from the fake ones.
Think whether that person is close to you or not. If he is then there must be an ulterior reason for him behaving as such. If not then he is a piece of garbage.
Leave him.It helps. This may sound harsh but there is no reason one should be put down by someone who does not mean anything to that person or for that matter even if he does mean a lot. There is no need to feel bad for someone like this either. But then again some people are very persistent and will not give up the hope of potential best friends.
Some people know that you are close to them and vent out their true thoughts onto you. This is different because they trust you a lot and tell you the truth.
All I can tell you is that the best way to deal with them is to literally leave them. According to stoic philosophy, let go of all the things that don't matter to you. Here, these people who are two faced do not matter to you and you should let them go. It may cause a lot of heart ache or feeling lonely and may cause fights, rumours or unpopularity but the faster you do it the better because then the remaining ones you will have will be your true friends.

General Sherman took a long time to grow upto 84 metres

It's a new year and I am now proceeding into my tenth finals and my eleventh grade. This got me thinking. On the eve of new year looked back and looked at all the times I told myself that I would do something in the year but never ended up doing. I procrastinated all my objectives of 2016 until the eve of 2017 and got sad that I didn't finish them.

Procrastination is the jack of all bad trades.

The Sydney Opera House was planned in the late 1940s and construction started in 1957 but it was finally opened to people in 1973 and it took three times as much money to build as planned.Why? Why was the project a 33 year plan or why did it take three times the required amount to build it? because of procrastination.

Lets take an example:
You have been assigned a project to do in geography for November and currently it is August. You think that there is three months of time and that sooner or later you will finish the project.You wile away time till the week before the project and you think that this week you will definitely finish it. But suddenly, the teachers of various subjects announce several tests for that week itself and you find yourself in a fix. The project is for Friday and its already Thursday. Now what to do? You stay up all night trying to complete a project which you would have otherwise easily completed if you would have done it in the previous months when you still had a lot of time. Eventually you finish by dawn and your project is half as good as you had planned it out to be because face it, you cannot push a week's work in one night.

What did you do wrong here?
You procrastinated. You thought that you have a lot of time in hands and you will eventually finish the work assigned but you did not factor in all the unforeseeable events that could have taken place like the tests.
Why do we procrastinate? The main reason is because there is a lot of time between sowing and reaping and we fail to realise that what we sow, is what we ultimately end up reaping.

You must have heard the story of the man who sowed seeds of an apple tree when he was about middle aged with a baby. people told him that it was useless because apple trees take a long time to germinate into a full sized tree. The man simply smiled and said that he may not be able to enjoy the fruits of the apple tree but after he dies, his son will surely be able to eat the delicious apples from the tree which would have grown fully.
Sometimes we must do things now so that we can enjoy it in the future. People often say save money now and you will have enough for a rainy day. Start working now and you will be able to secure a good future.

One must do things at the earliest to hope to do something better in the future. With this new year, I ask you to try not to procrastinate your objectives. They are beneficial for you. Do your taxes, finish your homework and finish everything you have to do.
Learn to say no.
Saying no is very difficult and is not easy to do. you must say no to all that which is not important for your life. The teachings of Epictetus teach us that we must let go of all unwanted things and focus only on our aims in life. So try your best to say no to things that do not matter but also sometimes say yes because once in a while you need a break.


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