You must have noticed this in the past that your friend is ever so kind to you in private, always speaking good about you and telling you that both of you are very close and how much he cares for you. But in public he changes. He goes on teasing and insulting you which starts a heart burnin in you and you twitch your eyebrow asking yourself,"Did he really tell me the truth a while ago?"
We all have done this before in the understanding of jest. We always tease our friends, close or not, in public and speak about private matters and speak well about them privately.
I've seen this a lot. a lot of my friends tell me their stories and problems and how they can't solve it privately but in public, or with others, if I mention it, they seem like the have never heard of that problem. Are they lying to me or just trying to hide their problems. Many people tell me something in private and change the whole case publicly to avoid anything that can go against them. It is very weird and I felt like my friends lied to me. But when I sat to ask myself what the root cause to this is, I found out and that is why I write this blog.
You might think that your friend puts on a mask for the world and removes it when talking to you. We all feel this. There is no particular word or phrase for this, lets call it 'Face Change'
According to me, this is because of several reasons.
I don't feel they wouldn't be your real friends. Your real friends wouldn't be two faced or would not change their views on something in public.
Things like this have happened to me and others a lot. There is no escaping it. So what to do?
I think that the best way to tackle this is to think with a clear head and put aside and sieve out all the rational thoughts from the fake ones.
Think whether that person is close to you or not. If he is then there must be an ulterior reason for him behaving as such. If not then he is a piece of garbage.
Leave him.It helps. This may sound harsh but there is no reason one should be put down by someone who does not mean anything to that person or for that matter even if he does mean a lot. There is no need to feel bad for someone like this either. But then again some people are very persistent and will not give up the hope of potential best friends.
Some people know that you are close to them and vent out their true thoughts onto you. This is different because they trust you a lot and tell you the truth.
All I can tell you is that the best way to deal with them is to literally leave them. According to stoic philosophy, let go of all the things that don't matter to you. Here, these people who are two faced do not matter to you and you should let them go. It may cause a lot of heart ache or feeling lonely and may cause fights, rumours or unpopularity but the faster you do it the better because then the remaining ones you will have will be your true friends.
We all have done this before in the understanding of jest. We always tease our friends, close or not, in public and speak about private matters and speak well about them privately.
I've seen this a lot. a lot of my friends tell me their stories and problems and how they can't solve it privately but in public, or with others, if I mention it, they seem like the have never heard of that problem. Are they lying to me or just trying to hide their problems. Many people tell me something in private and change the whole case publicly to avoid anything that can go against them. It is very weird and I felt like my friends lied to me. But when I sat to ask myself what the root cause to this is, I found out and that is why I write this blog.
You might think that your friend puts on a mask for the world and removes it when talking to you. We all feel this. There is no particular word or phrase for this, lets call it 'Face Change'
According to me, this is because of several reasons.
I don't feel they wouldn't be your real friends. Your real friends wouldn't be two faced or would not change their views on something in public.
Things like this have happened to me and others a lot. There is no escaping it. So what to do?
I think that the best way to tackle this is to think with a clear head and put aside and sieve out all the rational thoughts from the fake ones.
Think whether that person is close to you or not. If he is then there must be an ulterior reason for him behaving as such. If not then he is a piece of garbage.
Leave him.It helps. This may sound harsh but there is no reason one should be put down by someone who does not mean anything to that person or for that matter even if he does mean a lot. There is no need to feel bad for someone like this either. But then again some people are very persistent and will not give up the hope of potential best friends.
Some people know that you are close to them and vent out their true thoughts onto you. This is different because they trust you a lot and tell you the truth.
All I can tell you is that the best way to deal with them is to literally leave them. According to stoic philosophy, let go of all the things that don't matter to you. Here, these people who are two faced do not matter to you and you should let them go. It may cause a lot of heart ache or feeling lonely and may cause fights, rumours or unpopularity but the faster you do it the better because then the remaining ones you will have will be your true friends.
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