Things beyond control

Studying and wishing your fake ID works, running and hoping McDonald's new burger is tasty, going advice and hoping your friend follows your advice. 

These are opposites with the main idea of things we can control and things we cannot control.

Things that we cannot control outnumber the number of things we can control by an exponential amount and reasonably, we spend considerable more time on those things. It is completely normal and acceptable. Just because everybody does it but that does not mean that it is correct to spend time on the things that you cannot control.

One of the biggest things we cannot control is 'worry'. Worrying about something will not change how it will happen. Worrying if your exam will be difficult won't make it difficult or easy but you will be wasting a lot of time worrying which could be used to study. In the realm of worry, time goes slowly but while you are lost in it, time, in reality, flows fast. It is as if every minute spent worrying is two minutes actually spent. 

Worrying is a problem which only you face. this means that you worrying will not affect others. for example, if you worry that your friend will do better than you in exam, the anxiety only affects you and your friend is not afflicted by the worry, lest he even knows it is happening. Your time is being wasted. While worrying, the mind becomes weak and often brings in the worst possible situations. 

we cannot control what fortune holds out for us but we can work now and now worry to make out future better. Worrying will never take us anywhere.

Another important thing which we cannot control is the 'what if'. While studying or working, our mind often wanders and we pop up hypothetical situations on the most meaningless and baseless things. For example, if you keep thinking different scenarios of asking a celebrity out in your mind, or the probable things you would do on mars, you're wasting your time. This is rarely a possibility and time should be spent on better things.

We are fighting an unwindable battle with things we cannot control. We must learn to recognise the things we can control and cannot control and phase out the uncontrollable things. This will be good for us as we will save time and our brains. 

Validate my parking and my actions plz

We do a lot of crazy and dishonourable things. We may cheat in tests, insult people, backstab people, amongst others but we always seem to want people to agree with our actions and our thought processes behind why we committed those actions. We constantly seek validation to absolve our actions, no matter how grave they turn out to be. It is as if we always want to be justified for our actions and be in the right. What we do not seem to realise is that majority people do not agree with our thinking and our reasoning. 
Our brain has this strange and humane quality called a conscience. It keeps us down to earth and emotionally attached to our actions. every action we do affects our conscience. Most actions are very very harmless and do not really affect our conscience in a big way but actions such as stealing, cursing or even arguing with elders and friends can trigger a feeling of guilt in our minds. Our conscience does not let us forget our actions and makes us repent.
Conscience could be metaphorically described as a nagging wife who nags her husband for every action he does even though it is sometimes for their benefit. 
We constantly seek ways to satisfy this guilty feeling. We use words and phrases like "sorry", "I had no other choice", "it wasn't my fault" or "I didn't do it on purpose" to cover up on their actions. 

There is nothing wrong in seeking validation. To me, this idea of the brain is very intriguing. However, if there is a way we can storm past ahead of seeing validation for our actions, we can definitely become better people. if we are smart, all our actions wont require validation but since we are not, let us work towards it.

cheating

Jean was a three year old girl who did not like going all the way to the bathroom to do her business in the morning. Her father, an economist, told her that if she woke up and went to the bathroom to clean up, he would give her a bag of M&Ms. "Really?" asked Jean. Her father took out a bag of candy and showed it to her. Immediately jean went to the bathroom and came out to receive the goody bag. This system worked well for the first three mornings. Every time she went to the bathroom in the morning she would receive bag of M&Ms. On the fourth day, jean woke up and went to the bathroom at 7:20 and got a candy bag. sSe went again at 7:30 and got another bag. She received a third bag at 7:45 when she went to the bathroom for the third time. Her father realised that no matter how old you are, you can be a cheater.

Humans are born to cheat and it is in our blood. We try to find ways to shorten any kind of work we do, be it completing our homework or inspecting restaurants for rats.
Although cheating is wrong and unethical, we should never leave its side and use it to help ourselves and others around us.

Cheating is fine if there are no future consequences 
Although this can be interpreted in many ways, the best way to express this is that if James Jonah Jameson asks Green Goblin for pictures of Spiderman for money. for the first few days, Green Goblin takes pictures of Spiderman while fighting him, but after a while, buys a halloween Spiderman  costume and sells a bunch of selfies. There is virtually no consequences to cheating in this case.
Your act of cheating, if you should, must be very mild. Cheating should not involve anybody catching onto you for anything in the future. Your actions in the present define your future. Just like how Pablo Escobar's smiling mugshot shot him down from becoming president of Columbia.
Also, never cheat repeatedly. Cheating repeatedly can leave space for mistakes and the risk of getting caught which leads to-
THE END
Every magician knows that if he gets caught, his whole act is over, his name is tarnished, and he is the laughing stock of the audience. Although its possibility can be easily reduced, it is yet very possible to be caught. In a previous example, if Green Goblin got caught cheating, he would most likely be fired. He committed to taking cheated photos as there is no negative future consequences but if he gets caught, its over.
Do not be a moron while cheating
If you really want to get away with cheating, do it properly. Do not leave space for any errors or moronic mistakes. For example, if Green Goblin was to take selfies dressed as Spiderman, it would be a dumb idea to let his ears show or use his trademark bombs in a picture. One must, therefore, be perfect in his methods of cheating.

Anchoring your brain

The other day I was asked this question- which year did Napoleon become emperor of France?
Despite being a history buff, I did not know the answer. but I could not accept defeat and attempted answer the question. I formulated a base educated idea that he was first exiled to Elba in 1814 (which is true). so he must have become king a few years ago at the very least because I had read several stories about his glorious reign and his bravery in battles. But I did not go as far back at the 1700s because the French Revolution had just ended and there was a lot of turmoil for at least a decade. so made a wild guess of 1802. I was two years off. 
Contemplating my failure, I came to realise that my whole 'thesis' arose from one main piece of knowledge that Napoleon was captured in 1814. Had I been wrong then, my whole reasoning would have tumbled down the hill. I came to realise that these base assumptions or 'anchors' are essential to any sort of educated guess or claim. 

An anchor is a bias which leads people to rely too much on the fist piece of information or the 'base', from which they make their final answer. The anchor can be compared to the foundations of a building. If the foundation is weak, no matter how well you build the rest of the building, your creation will collapse. similarly, if your anchor is wrong, your reasoning, no matter how perfect, will implode.

In one study, Nobel award winner Daniel Kahneman carried out a study where he tested a bunch of students with multiplication. They were asked to multiply the first 8 numbers from one onwards. The students were given 5 seconds to do so. After the first few multiplications, they had to guess the rest and make assumptions. since the sequence started with small numbers, the median they estimated was around 512. The correct answer was 40,320. The anchoring comes in here when after a first few multiplications, the students began making increasing adjustments on their answers. Almost all the answers answers were usually not sufficient and a great deal of importance was given to the anchor. 

It is said that before answering a question or making a base assumption as your anchor, one must at least have three source of information which are credible. So, back to the Napoleon question, apart from the abdication year, had I known the age he became emperor and the age when he abdicated, my answer would have been surely correct. 

Anchors are dangerous territory and do not let the grim sirens attract you to their jaws. Be careful treading in their paths and always have a back up no matter what. If you do not know the answer to a question, simply give up and say "I don't know" (benefits of that in my other blog -http://bagriaanjaneya.blogspot.in/2016/12/the-three-hardest-words-in-english.html)

everybody or nobody

Either everybody person does it or nobody does it.

 This is the famous statement made by several people on several matters, but what is the real meaning of this?We often feel awkward when ever we do something new, especially when we are with a group of friends who are also not used to doing nothing. We can often get criticised for doing it and can also be insulted. But why is this? 
This can be related to the fact that if something is new, everybody is sceptical about it. For examples, in Renaissance times, nobody supported the printing press or inventions or even any literature which was against the papal authority or against anything which the people at that time believed in. But there is always one person in the herd to come up with something new. More than often would he get ostracised for his actions. He could also get excommunicated. This is because not everybody is  in open to change. Nobody wants to go out of their way to discover something new or evil step out of the shell. We are lethargic and want everything handed to us. This is why when something new is first discovered, we are very sceptical and do not believe in its use. That is the same reason as to why several poets and alchemists have been persecuted and executed for their works. 
It is the ignorance that causes problems with society. But, let's not digress for this is a separate topic for a different day. 
When cars were introduced in India in 1826, nobody saw the use of a car. Everybody thought that the horse and carriage will be much better and much more officiant in the long run. But, when all the officials and the rich people started using cars instead of horses, everybody realised how useful they were and began using it as soon as possible. In another incident, when telephone and telegraph lines were introduced in India, people were very ignorant and did not think that it was good but thought that it would be used to hang prisoners. Little did they know that it would revolutionise the way of communication for ever.
This is the problem-we are never open to new things and always remain attached to the past and the simplistic ways of life. We never want to advance that even though progress is the goal, we stay relaxed without the thought  in mind about the future.

We should try to enjoy new experiences and not shoot them down the moment we hear new ideas. If we have a crazy idea, we should always be open to try it out for new experiences need to creativity which have led to the greatest of invention of all time. Even these 'happy' accidents I was out from creativity and trying a new experiences. We should truly be more progressive in our thinking and always look for a scope to advance and do better. Just because nobody is doing something, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. But definitely you should understand between doing something new and creative and doing something bad. there will always be people who try to bring you down but you have to move past that and only when you do so you can move up the stairs of glory.

why aren't kendrick Lamar or logic anybody's role model?

The 21st century is one where a lot of genres of music has emerged and 2017, in fact, is the first year when the hip hop genre surpassed the rock genre in most heard genres. Kendrick Lamar's album, 'DAMN', was deemed the most popular album in the USA this year.

Logic's song '1800-273-8255', on the day of its release, increased calls to suicide prevention lines by 27%. 

So why aren't people like these role models? why do we always take the great people as role models? 
A role model does not have to be a great person. It can be anybody who inspires you in some way to live in a particular way. there is so much to learn from the shadows as compared to the light.

Kendrick uses his power and status to talk about social issues and problems in the government and society. He himself says that he is gifted with a voice to translate what he feels and what those who cannot voice out feel.
Kendrick asks us to change the negativity around us to positivity. We can really learn from his raps, but instead, we prefer to just hear them for how dope they are. A lot of raps have deeper inner meanings which really mean important things. 
Logic is a new and upcoming rapper. To me, he is an amazing person and rapper. His verses are one of a kind and always leave me amazed. 
Logic's main aim is life is to spread peace, love and positivity. He mentions it in many of his songs and says that these make you versatile.
Logic wrote 1800 because he was inspired by one of his fans. While on tour, he went a fan's house for dinner and saw that the fan had his lyrics tattooed on his arms and kept telling him that he saved his life. Logic just wanted to make good music and had no intention of 'saving lives' but now that he realised this, he decided to help save lives and wrote 1800. 
Logic tells us to move away from positive and negative appraisals. Positive appraisals, he says, make you develop a big head and ego while negative appraisal makes you depressed and dark minded. 
Both these rappers are extremely authentic and have very devoted fans who often claim that they save their lives, literally. 

We can learn a lot from our world indeed. all the teachings are right in front of us but we need to interpret them. If we are successful in doing so, we can achieve great heights. 

More teenage stereotypes

Lets tackle some stereotypes

There are a lot of stereotypes about teenagers going around whether they are good or bad. Lets discuss a few-

1) The average teen
Every teenager today is more or less the same. We have become robots and are shadows of our true selves. We do what everybody does and individualism does not have a place in society. It is either be like the rest or be a nobody. It is  pretty cut throat. So, what is the average girl like? 
The average girl:
a) Has an instagram account
b) Uses obnoxious and played out quotes from a stereotypical        book or movie like The Divergent Series or from wattpad
c) Has at least one beach photo in which she is looking into the ocean
d) Has at least two photos with a snapchat filter
e) Loves 'The Chainsmokers' or any other musician she can 'relate to'.
f) Has read less than five books in her life.
g) Always complains about how nobody 'gets her' even though she treats everybody like a personal butler.

The average boy:
a) Always looks down in any given photo or covers his mouth.
b) Has medium to long hair to look emo.
c) Does not smile in any picture.
d) Supports a football team-without knowing the players in the team-because it is cool.
e) Behaves like an emotional person and keeps posting emotional pictures with abhorrent quotes about life which were probably said by felons.

2) Clothing 
Every girl dresses with as less clothes as possible. Their clothes are all from the same brand and they all wear rings, necklaces and played out lipstick colours. They colour their hair to copy their favourite artist or to show how 'punk' they are. They all adore the 'Adidas superstars' which are now a standard for teenage girls' footwear.
Boys wear the same baggy jeans and hoodies everywhere even if it is a beach. They all wear snapbacks and Nike shoes. 

3) Activities
Every girl wants to feel special and dates boys so that the boy can 'understand her'. Boys date girls because they don't want to be lonely or the laughing stock of their friend circle. Every girl tries to get popular on social media and hence tries to socialise a lot. This includes backstabbing friends and relations as well. A lot of teenagers consume alcohol and drugs because of peer pressure and a chance to be 'cool'. Nobody focuses on academic excellence because to them, their parents are always there and 'life will work itself out'. Stereotypical girls adopt shih-tzu dogs and take like 37 photos of every thing they come across. 

There are many more stereotypes which I will discuss later in my blogs. These are the basic ones.
Are you one of them? If you are, there is nothing to worry about. Everybody is like this and nobody will judge you. However, if you are not, then you will often be regarded as different or weird even though you are trying to stay authentic. Be yourself and be unique. God has not created us to be like another or to follow a herd. We should be individuals with different interests and disinterests. Liking or doing something which everybody is doing is useless and is like bringing sand to a beach. There is no shortage of typical boys and girls because if there would be, there would be more leaders of the world and lesser people who believe that the earth is flat.