Why dreaming big has problems

Sometimes, people tell me that when they grow up, they will be rich and successful and become things like actors, singers, instrumentalists, famed entrepreneurs, et cetera. 

But, I always end up telling them this that the chances or the probability of you becoming what do you just told me is one in a million. Yes, there is only one mark Zuckerberg, only one Steve Jobs, only one bill gates, only one Stephen Spielberg, or only one Usain bolt.

the rest 999,999 are those who have tried and failed or have done only halfway with their dream and now in a problem.

people say that the fruit of labour is sweet, hardworking always pays off, always follow your dreams and do what you dream but according to me more than that luck plays are larger and in your success.

With the degree of any Ivy League university, there is no guarantee that you will have accomplished the goods of life or you are set for a bright future ahead or that you will become very rich. This is because even if you work hard you may not be what you desire because there are people like you are working as hard as you, maybe harder and dreaming bigger than you who are also now in the picture. For every one of you are there are thousands more people exactly like you. So what do you think your chances are to become something important in this mosh pit of people. The chances are less than 1%.

This is called survivorship bias as coined by Robert Dobelli. 

With increasing population your chances will reduce. This is also the reason off on employment of those who dream big. It is not wrong dream big but you should know that the chances of you becoming your dream or a minute. So, what do you do?

Practice at what you are doing. Do not listen to other people's stories of becoming big because you know that deep inside they are false hopes and dreams. Many people say many things but many times those things are not true. Think of what you do and what do you do only. What happens in the world, if it is not directly relate to your life or affect your life in any way whatsoever, then delete it or do not listen to it because it's of no use. So if you hear that a pope is being elected, do not go deep into the process. Do not go deep into everything related to it because it's not going affect your life. It's fun doing about it but it's not going to affect your life. So practice what do you do and do what do you do do well.

About beliefs

Call it a dogma, superstition, faith or religion, we always have something we believe in without knowing the reason behind it. There are an infinite number of evidences of it in India. India is the land of several religions but we have yet to learn rationality and not be set back by blind thoughts and beliefs.

As Tagore put it in his 'Where the Mind is Without Fear' which I learnt about in my tenth grade-

"where the clear steam of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert of dead habit"

Here 'stream' is compared to the rational mind which should not be dirtied or must not lose its way in the 'dreary desert of dead habit' or superstition or blind beliefs.

We have learnt in previous experiences that our parents have told us things about religion, or social beliefs. How many times have hindus been told that the Pandavas were the truth and the Kauravas were cheats and deceptive or that Rama was righteous and Ravana was cruel?
Why do we fall for these dogmas or blind faiths?
In a simple way, it gives us something to believe in. If you were to tell people and prove that God does not exist then it would occur as a heart attack to them. God is one aspect almost the whole world believes in. We are taught to believe in God since our childhood but we never questioned our parents about these beliefs.
It's not wrong to believe in these faiths and superstitions because as mentioned above, we get something to believe in. We get something to trust in and as humans, Need something to believe in. It gives us purpose in life. Imagine a life in which you never believed in anything and carried forward in your life as a solemn trance. It would be like living in the fields of asphodel. The same thing over and over again with nothing new.
Believing in things teaches us new things about it everyday. You may learn something new about the lord everyday. Almost everyday my mother tells me stories about god.
But there are some beliefs in India about the society like untouchability and classism. Indians of a higher standard refuse to socialise with people of somewhat lower classes. In villages, the caste system prevails as well. These are terrible faiths to believe in and it would be best to raise our head over them. we must rationally think about this. It is a severe problem in India. With a population of around 1.3 billion people, things like this are a hard to growth and development.
With this i'd like to say that no matter what happens, think with a clear thought and a rational mind for it is the only thing that will be your salvation or your bane.

Not everyone who is nice to me is my friend

You must have noticed this in the past that your friend is ever so kind to you in private, always speaking good about you and telling you that both of you are very close and how much he cares for you. But in public he changes. He goes on teasing and insulting you which starts a heart burnin in you and you twitch your eyebrow asking yourself,"Did he really tell me the truth a while ago?"
We all have done this before in the understanding of jest. We always tease our friends, close or not, in public and speak about private matters and speak well about them privately.
I've seen this a lot. a lot of my friends tell me their stories and problems and how they can't solve it  privately but in public, or with others, if I mention it, they seem like the have never heard of that problem. Are they lying to me or just trying to hide their problems. Many people tell me something in private and change the whole case publicly to avoid anything that can go against them. It is very weird and I felt like my friends lied to me. But when I sat to ask myself what the root cause to this is, I found out and that is why I write this blog.
You might think that your friend puts on a mask for the world and removes it when talking to you. We all feel this. There is no particular word or phrase for this, lets call it 'Face Change'
According to me, this is because of several reasons.
I don't feel they wouldn't be your real friends. Your real friends wouldn't be two faced or would not change their views on something in public.
Things like this have happened to me and others a lot. There is no escaping it. So what to do?
I think that the best way to tackle this is to think with a clear head and put aside and sieve out all the rational thoughts from the fake ones.
Think whether that person is close to you or not. If he is then there must be an ulterior reason for him behaving as such. If not then he is a piece of garbage.
Leave him.It helps. This may sound harsh but there is no reason one should be put down by someone who does not mean anything to that person or for that matter even if he does mean a lot. There is no need to feel bad for someone like this either. But then again some people are very persistent and will not give up the hope of potential best friends.
Some people know that you are close to them and vent out their true thoughts onto you. This is different because they trust you a lot and tell you the truth.
All I can tell you is that the best way to deal with them is to literally leave them. According to stoic philosophy, let go of all the things that don't matter to you. Here, these people who are two faced do not matter to you and you should let them go. It may cause a lot of heart ache or feeling lonely and may cause fights, rumours or unpopularity but the faster you do it the better because then the remaining ones you will have will be your true friends.

General Sherman took a long time to grow upto 84 metres

It's a new year and I am now proceeding into my tenth finals and my eleventh grade. This got me thinking. On the eve of new year looked back and looked at all the times I told myself that I would do something in the year but never ended up doing. I procrastinated all my objectives of 2016 until the eve of 2017 and got sad that I didn't finish them.

Procrastination is the jack of all bad trades.

The Sydney Opera House was planned in the late 1940s and construction started in 1957 but it was finally opened to people in 1973 and it took three times as much money to build as planned.Why? Why was the project a 33 year plan or why did it take three times the required amount to build it? because of procrastination.

Lets take an example:
You have been assigned a project to do in geography for November and currently it is August. You think that there is three months of time and that sooner or later you will finish the project.You wile away time till the week before the project and you think that this week you will definitely finish it. But suddenly, the teachers of various subjects announce several tests for that week itself and you find yourself in a fix. The project is for Friday and its already Thursday. Now what to do? You stay up all night trying to complete a project which you would have otherwise easily completed if you would have done it in the previous months when you still had a lot of time. Eventually you finish by dawn and your project is half as good as you had planned it out to be because face it, you cannot push a week's work in one night.

What did you do wrong here?
You procrastinated. You thought that you have a lot of time in hands and you will eventually finish the work assigned but you did not factor in all the unforeseeable events that could have taken place like the tests.
Why do we procrastinate? The main reason is because there is a lot of time between sowing and reaping and we fail to realise that what we sow, is what we ultimately end up reaping.

You must have heard the story of the man who sowed seeds of an apple tree when he was about middle aged with a baby. people told him that it was useless because apple trees take a long time to germinate into a full sized tree. The man simply smiled and said that he may not be able to enjoy the fruits of the apple tree but after he dies, his son will surely be able to eat the delicious apples from the tree which would have grown fully.
Sometimes we must do things now so that we can enjoy it in the future. People often say save money now and you will have enough for a rainy day. Start working now and you will be able to secure a good future.

One must do things at the earliest to hope to do something better in the future. With this new year, I ask you to try not to procrastinate your objectives. They are beneficial for you. Do your taxes, finish your homework and finish everything you have to do.
Learn to say no.
Saying no is very difficult and is not easy to do. you must say no to all that which is not important for your life. The teachings of Epictetus teach us that we must let go of all unwanted things and focus only on our aims in life. So try your best to say no to things that do not matter but also sometimes say yes because once in a while you need a break.


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Sorry does not make a dead man alive

"Sorry man, I was really busy to come and meet you when you were sick."

"Sorry for being mean to you. I was in a bad mood."

"Sorry for lying to you. I won't do it again."

Have you ever heard this before? Have you ever done this to somebody before? Yes you have and in fact, we all have. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. We all apologise but how many of our apologies are true. Take two friends. One of them puts the other down at every social gathering in front of a lot of people. He always apologises privately to him but the behaviour continues and he keeps insulting him. Are his apologies true? Is he not considerate of his friend's feelings?

Take a mother and her son. The mother tells the son to clean his room while she is out to buy some house wares. When she comes back, the room is as dirty as ever. The son apologises with a simple 'sorry'. The mother forgives him and the next day tells him clean his room when she goes out to meet some friends. When she comes back the room is again, as dirty as ever. The son says 'sorry'. The mother forgives him. This keeps happening and the son keeps saying 'sorry' and the mother keeps forgiving him. Are the son's apologies real? Does he mean it? No, but as a mother, she always forgives him because she is his mother and mothers can never stay angry at their children.
However, not everyone is your mother. You only have that on person who will always forgive you no matter what.
If you were to buy something your friend asked you on repeated reminders and you forgot, she or he would never forgive you.

'Sorry' is and empty word with no meaning. To elaborate on the title, if I kill a man and tell his dead body sorry for killing him, even if it was a mistake, there is no way that he can ever come back to life. Once you commit something, you can't change it.

99% of the times when somebody says sorry, he or she never means it. They just use it as an excuse to keep the person off their backs. How many times has somebody hurt you and said sorry but 'never learnt from their mistake' and hurt you again?

Don't think that saying sorry will justify your actions because it won't. There is a reason why teachers don't accept 'sorry' anymore because they know how empty the word is. Students yet talk, they yet shout, they yet eat in class and cover it up by 'sorry'.

'Sorry' is responsible for a lot of friendships to dissolve when the person does something bad and just says sorry. Nobody ever believes it because they know that you will keep doing it again and again.

"Sorry" "No, you can't be because you knew the consequences of your actions and you yet put yourself in that predicament."

My advice to you is stop saying 'sorry'. Instead, when you make a mistake, make up for it. Try your best to change your actions and if you can't do that then do not do the action in the first place. Your friend, relative or whoever will understand that you dont want to risk anything. before doing something, or before saying 'sorry' especially put yourself into that person's shoes. Think of the problem from their point of view. Most of all, actually repent on what you did to cause the problem. Don't depend on apologies to save you because they won't. Insulting, lying, teasing or talking behind the back are one of the main reasons to say 'sorry' and they are the main reasons as to why friendships break. Words are like bullets. Once shot they can't come back. You have already used it.

Teaching a Garden to Weed Itself

Teaching a garden to weed itself basically means to get rid of everything bad and useless by making them go away on their own without you hassling into the matter. it can also mean tricking the guilty into revealing themselves.

king Solomon was the king of Israel renowned for his wisdom, honesty and wit.

One day, two women came to him holding a baby. Lets take the first one as woman A and the second as woman B. Woman A claimed that she was sleeping with her baby one night when woman B's baby died in woman B's arms who was also sleeping. Woman B arose from midnight and took woman A's baby for woman A. However, woman B denied this story and claimed the living baby hers and the dead baby the other woman's. One woman was blatantly lying ad the other was the true mother. So what to do?

King Solomon asked his courtier to fetch him a sword. He picked up the live baby and said that since there was no solid evidence of the baby being anybody's, the best way to solve the dispute was to cut the baby in half.

Woman A cried out saying,"Do not hurt the baby. It is better to let woman B keep the baby than to let it perish."

Woman B said," This is fair, king. Cut the baby. It shall neither be mine nor thine."

King Solomon awarded the baby to woman A. 

How did Solomon know the true mother? He reasoned that a cruel woman would go along with the baby-citing plan and the true mother would rather let go of the baby than to see it get cut.

Zappos was an unorthodox online shoe company who knew how to teach the garden to weed itself.

After hiring new recruits, Zappos offered them a chance to quit and also told them that they would get awarded $2000 for quitting and never coming back. Why? Think about it.

This offer gave the new employees to quit and it basically put them in a position of "Do you really care for the money or the job?" 

The CEO of Zappos, Tony Heish, figured that anybody who'd easily take the money would cost Zappos a lot more in the long run in terms of money, productivity and morale.

A person who is lying or cheating will always respond to a situation differently, like woman B or the employees who grabbed the $2000. To be successful or sift the guilty from the innocent when nobody steps forward to appeal their guilt, one must think of an incentive perfect for this. 'Pooling equilibrium' is a term used in economy for this.

So think. Open your mind. Don't be afraid to try out new things... after all thats what zappos taught the world. 

Acknowledgements: 'Think Like a Freak' Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. 

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The Three Hardest Words in the English Language

Take a survey of 100 people. Ask them all what are the three hardest words in English. 99 of them will say ''I love you''. But no. thats not it. One person out of the hundred will say 'I don't know'.

Believe it or not, ''I don't know'' are the three hardest words in English. Have you ever heard people say that anywhere apart from maths? no.
the real reason as to why these are the hardest words to say is because people's egos are huge, larger than what they think they are. people are afraid to say that they don't know something. They feel that if they say ''I don't know'' then they will be laughed upon, teased and ostracised. Whenever in doubt about knowing something, people will make up stuff. They will probably make up a large chunk of nonsense which is 'supposedly' related to the pertinent question at hand.

There are known knowns; There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; That is to say we know there are some things we do not know.

So, if we know that there is a something we do not know, why say something which you might think that is related to the topic but is actually not. You will make a fool of yourself and also lead people into the wrong direction.
As Mark Twain said,"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."

Saying nonsense can also lead to negative aspects and making people call you a liar. Remember, there is no such thing as a small lie. 

Worst of all, don't make predictions. They almost never work out. if I had a rupee for every time my friends told me that they expect a certain mark in an examination, my house would be taller than Antilla.
Predictions are a fad. There was this one person who, who if you remember, predicted that the world would end on 21 December, 2012. Haha funny.
There is a word for this kind behaviour of predictions and false knowledge 
Ultracrepidarianism. it means- the habitat giving opinions and advice out of your knowledge or competence. 
if you don't know something, go ahead and say "I don't know". it helps. back it up by saying but maybe I can find out. and do find out. you have no clue how receptive people are to honesty. Lying won't solve anything but then again, don't think of your actions as a white lie... because if you've seen certain movies, then lying can snowball into a huge thing.
So I ask you, stop saying things about the future and its events. because if you claim that it will happen, I ask you to kill yourself and resurrect yourself two days later.

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